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Julie_S:
Здравствуйте!
Прочитайте, пожалуйста, Statement of purpose и покритикуйте)


Without any doubt physical researches are a key to solving the greatest problem of the mankind, namely, the problem of creation and existence of the world. And the smaller the spatial scale under investigation is, the closer we are to the unraveling of this sacred secret. That is why I am highly interested and strongly motivated in studying physics as a whole and in researches in the field of nuclear physics and physics of elementary particles in particular.
I was born in Smolensk, the city that is 400 km distant from Moscow. I was first introduced to physics during my last years in high school when in the 8th grade I entered an advanced class focused on mathematics and physics. The class taught me that almost each natural phenomenon can be explained and interpreted in terms of mathematical formulas. After my 10th grade I was so interested in studying physics that I decided to apply to Advanced Education and Science Center (AESC) Kolmogorov School at Moscow State University. I passed the preliminary examination successfully and entered a one-year advanced class focused on mathematics and physics. The year of intensive studying strengthened my ardor for physics and to enter the Physical Faculty at Moscow State University became my next goal. My success in annual competition «Lomonosov» in fields of mathematics and physics enabled me to enter Moscow State University without preliminary examinations.
During first three and a half years at MSU I took a range of general physical and mathematical courses and became even more convinced that physics is what I want to devote myself to. When in 2009 time came to choose my field of study, I realized that nuclear physics and physics of elementary particles were extremely intriguing for me. That is why I entered the Department of General Nuclear Physics and began my research work in the field of theoretical investigations of nuclear excitations.
Under the guidance of my adviser, Dr. XX, I worked on the problem of theoretical description of giant dipole resonances in open-shell nuclei. This problem is a formidable challenge to the nuclear theory. Although giant resonances were under intensive experimental and theoretical investigation during the last decades, there is still no satisfactory method of description of individual structures, fragmentations and widths of multipole excitations of open-shell nuclei. Our approach based on the advanced version of multiparticle shell model and on the connection between semi-direct reactions of nuclear excitation and direct pick-up reactions permits to get some progress in understanding of mechanisms of multipole resonances.
The first object of investigation was 48Ca. In July 2010 I took part in 60th International conference «Nucleus-2010» on problems of nuclear spectroscopy and structure of atomic nucleus in Saint-Petersburg and made a report on our theoretical calculation of dipole resonance and pigmy-resonance in 48Ca. The results of our investigation were published in the Bulletin of the Russian Academy of Sciences.
Then we switched our attention to the set of even-even titanium isotopes and concentrated on the microscopic description of individual structures, fragmentations and widths of dipole resonances in 46Ti, 48Ti and 50Ti. In October 2011 I presented the main results of our research at 61st International conference «Nucleus-2011» in Sarov. These results will be published in the Bulletin of the Russian Academy of Sciences in 2012.
Besides, I participated in annual interuniversity meetings «Concentrated energy flows in cosmic technology, ecology and medicine» and annual scientific conference «Lomonosov’s readings». Participation in conferences and scientific meeting gave me a unique opportunity to communicate with scientists of different ages and different scientific interests and taught me that such interaction is extremely important.
In December 2011 I defended my thesis and graduated from MSU with honors. Six years at MSU have strongly increased my aspiration for investigation of physical phenomena. My research work on problem of nuclear resonances caused my interest in physics of intermediate energies and nucleon’s excitations. I have the strongest intention to start my research in these areas and I am confident that the Department of Physics and Astronomy at the University YY is a perfect fit for me. I am especially excited about an opportunity to work with Professor ZZ.
I would regard my admission to the University YY as a great honor and responsibility, and would work hard to be among your top alumni. 
I am confident that researches in fields of nuclear physics and physics of intermediate energies provide us a unique opportunity to reveal sacred secrets of nature.

learner:
Ужос. Сопли какие-то. Внимание терятся приблизительно на середине второго параграфа. С трудом понятно что вам не 15 лет и вы в универ поступаете, а у вас есть рассказать че по ресечу. Зачем все остальное???

Надо сильно упростить последних 6 парагафов - выкинуть все сопли. Текст перед ними создает очень странное впечатление.

DrX:
Дикий кошмар. Вкратце:

- выкиньте лирику про то, как в школе Вас привлекали тайны природы. Четко изложите, что Вы делали, какие результаты получили, где доложили.

- не упоминайте всуе физику элементарных частиц. То, чем Вы занимались - это ядерная физика.


--- Цитировать ---I am especially excited about an opportunity to work with Professor ZZ.
--- Конец цитаты ---
это хорошая фраза, но где объяснение Вашего эксайтмента?

- ну и надо, конечно, почистить английский, но это потом.

Julie_S:
Возможно, так лучше?

I was born in Smolensk, the city that is 400 km distant from Moscow. I was first introduced to physics during my last years in high school when in the 8th grade I entered an advanced class focused on mathematics and physics. After my 10th grade I was so interested in studying physics that I decided to apply to Advanced Education and Science Center (AESC) Kolmogorov School at Moscow State University. I passed the preliminary examination successfully and entered a one-year advanced class focused on mathematics and physics. The year of intensive studying strengthened my aspiration for studying physics and to enter the Physical Faculty at MSU became my next goal. My success in annual competition «Lomonosov» in fields of mathematics and physics enabled me to enter MSU without preliminary examinations.

During first three and a half years at MSU I took a range of general physical and mathematical courses and became even more convinced that physics is what I want to devote myself to. When in 2009 time came to choose my field of study, I realized that nuclear physics and physics of elementary particles were extremely intriguing for me. That is why I entered the Department of General Nuclear Physics and began my research work in the field of theoretical investigations of nuclear excitations.

Under the guidance of my adviser, Dr. XX, I worked on the problem of theoretical description of giant dipole resonances in open-shell nuclei. This problem is a formidable challenge to the nuclear theory. Although giant resonances were under intensive experimental and theoretical investigation during the last decades, there is still no satisfactory method of description of individual structures, fragmentations and widths of multipole excitations of open-shell nuclei. Our approach based on the advanced version of multiparticle shell model and on the connection between semi-direct reactions of nuclear excitation and direct pickup reactions permits to get some progress in understanding of mechanisms of multipole resonances.

For the first time we obtained the cross-sections of photodisintegration of the 48Ca, 46Ti, 48Ti and 50Ti nuclei on the basis of the advanced version of multiparticle shell-model using the spectroscopy data on direct pickup reactions. The results of our theoretical calculation are in good agreement with experimental data.

I presented the main results of our work at 60th and 61st conferences «Nucleus-2010» and «Nucleus-2011» on problems of nuclear spectroscopy and structure of atomic nucleus in Saint-Petersburg and Sarov. These results were published in the Bulletin of the Russian Academy of Sciences (Physics, 2011, Vol. 75, No. 11, pp. 1540–1543) and would be published in the Bulletin of RAS (Physics, 2012).

Besides, I participated in annual interuniversity meetings «Concentrated energy flows in cosmic technology, ecology and medicine» and annual scientific conference «Lomonosov’s readings». Participation in conferences and scientific meeting gave me a unique opportunity to communicate with scientists of different ages and different scientific interests.

In December 2011 I defended my thesis and graduated from MSU with honors. My research work on problem of nuclear resonances caused my interest in physics of intermediate energies and nucleon’s excitations. I have the strongest intention to start my research in these areas and I am confident that the Department of Physics and Astronomy at the University YY is a perfect fit for me. I have contacted Professor ZZ and his willingness to work with me has further strengthened my decision to apply to graduate school at University YY.

I would regard my admission to the University YY as a great honor and responsibility, and would work hard to be among your top alumni. 

kilka:
прочитала только первое предложение и сразу вопрос: кому интересно где вы родились и где находится Смоленск? Не засоряйте текст, он и так слишком длинный

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